It was a Dark and
Stormy
Night . . .
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Isn't that how all great novels of
mystery and intrigue begin?
Over the past few years there have been several
collections with this theme based on the "best?" submissions to
the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest and compiled by "Scott
Rice". Some of my favourites are presented here for your enjoyment.
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1991
Contest Winner
Sultry it was and humid, but no
whisper of air caused the plump, laden spears of golden grain to nod their burdened heads
as they unheedingly awaited the cyclic rape of their gleaming treasure, while overhead the
burning orb of luminescence ascended its ever upward path toward a sweltering celestial
apex, for although it is not in Kansas that our story takes place, it looks god awful like
it.
submitted by Judy Frazier ;
Lathrop,Mo
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Other
Favorites
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Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with
cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Clause lay dead on the hotel floor.
submitted by John Renfro Davis;
Conroe Tex
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Night's ominous
blackness rolled across the city of London as the banshee death wail of the air-raid siren
summoned the populace to be swallowed into the labyrinthine bowels of the Underground as
if the earth were a giant mouth sucking up so many strands of spaghetti; meanwhile, in
America, a birth occurred which, twenty years later, would prove that neither of these
events had any connection whatsoever.
submitted by P.A.Lamers; Wilmington,
Del.
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Wouldn't let me join in any reindeer games,
eh?" thought a bitter Rudolph, his red nose glowing angrily in the dense fog, as he
slipped from the bell studded harness and watched eight of his tormentors, a sleigh full
of toys, and St. Nicholas too, smash into the mountain slope.
submitted by Cora Williams Weisenberger;
Richton Park, Il.
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Samuel snickered while tearing the cellophane from
his completely lifelike fully automatic electric love android, little realizing how its
poor review in Consumer Reports would affect his sex life until an exciting event
involving frayed insulation and a leaky waterbed.
submitted by Dale Peter
Cipperley; San
Jose, Ca.
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The first indication I had that things were not
quite as they should be in my host's household was when I noticed that his butler dragged
his foot behind him . . .
. . . on a rope.
submitted by Richard W. O'Bryan;
Perrysburg, Ohio
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